Being on the Fence

Being on the fence is when you’re not sure of your next move. There’s usually more than one option (to stay put being one of them).

Sometimes, people may wait for your decision and leave before any decision was made. Being on the fence doesn’t benefit anyone. It’s best to take a side and assume the consequences.

In the past, I always took my decision based on “I don’t want to hurt anybody” and it turned out to hurt me. My advice to you is it doesn’t matter what side you take as long as the decision is yours.

Break up-The stages of the “Breaker”

Who ever initiate a break-up goes through different stages, or feelings, afterwards. It’s never easy to let someone go and it’s interesting to see the changes inside of a person after such event happens. I've identified the following (does not necessary happen in a sequence):

Relief: If nothing is stopping it, a relationship usually slowly deteriorates before the breaker ends it. Due to the week/months of tension prior to the break-up, there’s a sentiment of relief and freedom that takes over soon after it ends.

Confused: This stage usually follows the relief. The confused individual doesn’t know if breaking up was a good idea. They don’t want to hurt the other person and they like having that person around still. They still meet and stay in contact.

Indifferent/Acceptance: This stage usually follows the confused stage. This is where they feel they made the right decision by letting the other person go. They don’t feel anything (maybe friendship) at this point and they couldn’t care less what the other person does with their lives. This is where they start to loose contact. They moved on.

Hate: It occurs when the breakup was due to treason or other harsh experience. It could potentially follow the indifferent stage if the “ex” is trying hard to get attention or get back together. The person, who initiated the break-up, has not only moved on but also avoid the ex when ever possible.

If you’ve been through a break up, you may be able to relate with one of the step above. If it’s different, let me know and I’ll consider changing/adding the list. :)

**Special thanks to Chantal for her help with this.

Fear of Relationship Commitment

The fear to commit is only present when there’s second thoughts about what you’re trying to achieve. In a relationship, it’s present when there’s second thoughts about the other person.

A relationship doesn’t just end up suddenly. It happens gradually until 1, of the 2, Finally decides to move on.The popular belief is that love is supposed to last for ever and we should call it “quit” as soon as we feel it’s gone while in-fact; love needs to be worked on constantly.

After the initial “In love” experience, certain habits starts to form and we start seeing the other person as a “normal” person rather than the super person we fell in love with. In order to keep the flames big and bright, we need to constantly put wood in the fire by doing things for each other.

It takes two to work at it. One side relationships doesn’t work. If you’re the only one doing all the work, you will either get tired and leave or the other person will leave. Why would the other person leave in this case? Giving away love is also a good way to feel it back and if the other person doesn’t give love, that person won’t feel love regardless of what you’re trying to do. If there’s no interest in doing things FOR you then there’s probably no interest IN you.

Feeling Fat

Feelings are often illogical. If weight is important to you and you wake up feeling fat but a quick look at the scale shows you didn’t gain weight, why do you feel fat?

When ever I feel fat, I can always trace it back to a bad meal I got, or when I skipped the gym. I feel fat because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.
I don’t ignore those feelings when I get them because Health & Fitness is important to me. What I do instead is take a mental note of it and fix it by eating a healthier meal and going to the gym.

Here we Go Again

How is it that different situations, handle in a similar way, gives similar result? Have you ever been in a situation, with a someone, where you were like “Hey, I was here before but not with that person...”.

“Lesson repeated until lesson learned.” -Unknown

Noticing it, to me, is the crazy part. It’s my chance to make the outcome different because I can now potentially know how things will end up. If I act differently, the outcome will be different.

Those situation are usually bad ones so for me to notice them is a great blessing.