Friday, December 23, 2011

Trial and error: The Relationship Edition

"The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence." -Albert Ellis

When you’ve been on the dating scene for quite some time you come to realize that there’s somewhat of a pattern to be found. A thing you might notice is that more often than not the problem is with you more than it is with your encounters.

It’s true that the perfect person doesn’t exist. So what now?

It’s easy to find someone with similar interest than ours. We might have feelings for them for a while and it eventually goes out. At this point, most relationships ends but it shouldn’t. That’s when the real work should start. The work is what it is … work. It’s not sit down and wait till the feelings comes back. It’s getting up and trying to figure out the reason why the feeling is gone.

I often find myself in stressful position at work that I sometime bring home. If this is done too often, we might come to the conclusion that the problem is home and not with the work. Be careful of where the feeling originally began.

Relationship is mostly about accepting people for who they are.

Revision Wednesday
Blog post edited/re-posted on December 10, 2014

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Wrong goals

A partner isn’t supposed to be pursued but rather should be a “side achievement” while in the pursuit of your main purpose.
Now before you think I’m a total ass, let me explain my issue.

When ever I would find a woman of my liking, I would literally put my life on hold for her. If I would go to the gym on regular basis, I would stop to hang out with her. If I was supposed to meet with friends, I wouldn’t go cause I wanted to be with her...

This is a wrong approach purely because I was making her my world rather than having her part of mine. There’s a big difference here. Nobody wants to be with someone who they feel doesn’t have a life of their own.

Feeling wise, the love for her would be gone quite quickly because of it. I mean, picture this … there’s still things that I wanted to do but I would stop myself from doing it all because of her … who did I subconsciously blamed for it? Her of course and she had nothing to do with it!

If you want the love feeling to last, don’t make your partner your entire world. Make your partner … well your partner in your life.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Let’s Be Friends

I got an unexpected txt on Friday from my ex-girlfriend. She wanted to stop by to give me some presents before she went away to her parents for vacation. We also went for a ride to see some xmas light (very impressive ones I might add).

During the ride, I could feel a tension between us. I think there was a question that we both wanted to know the answer of but we were afraid to ask. The question being “Are you seeing anybody right now?” I know for me, I didn’t ask because I was afraid the answer was “yes” (what a weird cycle to be in!).

Obviously, a “yes” to such question is to be expected. It’s just too soon for me to know about her where abouts (She had to work quite a bit to get me to go on a ride with her … I just can’t say “no” to that dam woman … and she just doesn’t take “no” for an answer... she should be in sales).

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Depressing moments

I had many sleepless nights recently due to various issues and it started to affect my over all mood during the day.

I found out that if I don’t go to the gym, eat right and go to bed at a decent hour, it will be harder for me to have a positive attitude during the day. Little problems seems to be bigger, little obstacles take longer to overcome … every setbacks just add weight to my shoulders.

How did I fix it? I started sleeping more and noticed a difference almost the next day.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Self Inflicted Diseases

Ever had an ailment that you’ve decided to take into your own hands to figure out what it is? The first thing that you did was open up google and look for the symptoms? After browsing through a list of possible disease, what started as a small ailment escalated into the point where you think you’re going to die?

Me too!!

It’s important to know that it’s normal to have issues with our bodies and that most of them aren’t dangerous.
While doing a research online, or brain tends to focus so much on the symptoms of “X” disease that you may think you have it. I’ve looked up many diseases and each site have their own definition and list of symptoms so who do you trust?

The best thing to do is to wait a little while to see if it doesn’t go away and if the problem persist, go see a doctor.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

This is Serious!

You can only do something for so long without having any result. There will be a time where a mental switch will activate itself and tell you “alright, it’s time to get serious … you should be further ahead of where you are; what’s going on?”

At that point, you’ll do what ever it takes to get success because you finally believe that you can achieve it.
How long do you have to fail in order to have that mental state? It’s individual based … it takes me a long time to get it. I’ve seen some that doesn’t go through such period and get serious right away.

What type are you?

Revision Wednesday
Blog post edited/re-posted on January 2, 2014

Friday, December 2, 2011

A Man's Interaction With Women

“For a man to get along with women he must learn how to get along without them.” -The Expendables

The above quote, from the movie “The Expendables”, made me think a lot about how my interactions with women usually go.

I believe that communication is done with feelings wrapped around it. If you don’t truly feel love, it will be felt when you say “I love you”. I started considering this when ever I had a conversation with a woman. I would ask myself “How do I feel about it?” and most of the time I felt like “I needed the woman to love me”. This affected how the interaction was going. The posture was different, the feeling wasn’t right and I just couldn’t get the woman interested in me at all.

I have a different approach all together now. I don’t care about them at all, I don’t look nor try to find excuses to talk to them. I have places to go and things to do.

I originally thought that this would affect how many women would interact with me but it didn’t. They do the first steps now, I just play along and fill the blanks.

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