Wednesday, December 30, 2020

When Doing Nothing is a Mistake

We can do the right thing, we can do the wrong thing or we can do nothing. In each cases, our decision will have an impact even when that decision is "doing nothing". Doing nothing, in some cases, is the right thing to do but if we do nothing because of fear, or laziness, then that decision can turn into regret with time.

I certainly have a lot of experience with this being a relatively shy person. I can point plenty of times when I've decided to do nothing only to regret those decisions later on. I've lost relationships, career opportunities and potentially life changing experiences over the simple decision of doing nothing.

Doing nothing is comfortable but only in the moment. Since I have a lot of experience with this, I would argue that doing the wrong thing is more favorable than doing nothing because even if you make the wrong decision at least you tried and you've likely learned something valuable in the process - more so than if you had done nothing.

This is for me more so than you - Be more decisive.

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

I'm Not Good at Gossip

It recently dawn on me that I'm not good at the gossip game and often end up putting other people in trouble as a result of that. I'm a good listener which make people open up to me but I know there's going to be trouble as soon as they start saying something like "don't tell this person this but..." The trouble is I often end up telling that other person the very thing that I wasn't supposed to tell them. 

Why do I do this? I do it without realizing, I do it because I forget I'm not supposed to tell this particular thing. 
Now, before you start telling me I'm a bad person, I'm pretty vocal about my hate of gossip, and my complete dis-interest in it, but people choose to confine in me anyway - the risk is their own.

Gossip serves no purpose other than to, perhaps, provide a temporary relief to the person sharing it. The only thing I can think about, when people gossips with me, is what are they saying about me when I'm not around?

I hate gossip and if you choose to gossip with me then you should know that I have this flaw.

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Max And Pookie - Life Lessons

Both of my dogs are of the shy type but Max (Black/White - Male) is more outgoing than Pookie(Brown/White - Female) and I've learned a lot by observing them.

When Pookie was young she would pee at the mere sight of a new face. While she's outgrown this, she's still the shy girl and misses out much of the joys of being a dog as a result of it. You'll rarely find her in the main areas of the house as she prefer the peace and quiet of her hideouts - only coming out when she wants attention, food, or to go outside.
Max, while shy, acts more like a normal dog than Pookie does. He always wants to be where the action is at and I would argue that his experience, as a dog, is more enjoyable.

It's not difficult to see the relationship between these two dogs and humans. There are people that tend to prefer solitudes, either because they truly enjoy it or because of shyness, and others that enjoy being where the action is at. Both are going through the same experience of being human but one may be living it a bit more fully than the other. 
Regardless of the type of life that you decide to live it's important to note that life is, painfully, short and will end the same way whether it be in the comfort of your house or on an adventure and, as far as we know, we only get to be human once... make the most of it.

As far as Max & Pookie goes, they're the best dogs in the world and are currently living their elder years. The thought of loosing them is painful to me but also a reminder to make the most out of the time we have left together.

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

We Could All Use Diplomacy

Diplomacy is the art of dealing with people in a sensitive and effective way. It's a skill that many, including myself, lack. It's most often associate with politics but it really is a skill everyone should understand and get better at - it's the core of dealing with people.

I've spent a great deal of my 20s focused on self-improvement and, obviously, diplomacy was a subject that came up from time to time. I arrogantly believed that I was a fairly diplomatic person but that was before I started really analyzing my interactions with others. My observations have shown that I apply none of the lessons that I've learned - now that's a shame! 
When I want something from someone I blurred it out, sometime angrily, in order to make my thoughts come across. Sometime, I do get what I want but at what cost? Feelings are hurt, relationships are stained … it's not a pretty sight.

This problem is also something that I've observed in other people. I have nobody in my entourage that I can use as a role model for this skill but I do know where to go to find some - someone in sales! Anyone in sales have to learn how to deal with people if they wish to have any sort of success in selling. Therefor it makes sense that if I want to learn more about diplomacy then I need to get acquainted with a salesman or go back to my self-improvement material that relates to sales. 

"In youth we learn; in age we understand."
-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

As I'm nearing my mid thirties, I feel I'm long overdue on improving my diplomatic skills. It's also something that I pay more attention to in others. It's time for all of us to be more diplomatic.

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Difficulty Reading

My Dad admitted to me that it's very difficult for him to read hence why he rarely does. Few realizes that the brain is a muscle and like all muscle it needs to be exercised in order to grow. Few realizes that some books are easier to read than others and, if you start with a difficult one, it may turn you off from the experience altogether.

When I first started by Self-Improvement journey, roughly 10 years ago, the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", by Stephen R. Covey, was recommended to me by my mentor. I eagerly bought a copy and started reading it only to realize that I didn't understand a word of it. To me, this book made no sense but that was only because the book was too complicated for my reading comprehension. I shared my concerns with my mentor and he proceeded to suggest a few books that were less complicated. A few years later, I picked Stephen R. Covey's book again and was surprised when I finally understood the message of the book.

I still come across books that I have difficulty reading from time to time but I know enough not to let it turn me off from reading completely. 
If you're 10, 20, 40 pages into a book and still don't understand it may be because your reading comprehension isn't on par with the difficulty of the book. Read books that are not as difficult and, eventually, you'll be able to understand what the book is about.

Reading is important - don't give up on it!
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