Optimizing Love

"He who believes in all those things that are good, will love them, and live in them; he who believes in those things that are impure and selfish, will love them, and cling to them. The tree is known by its fruits."

-Mind is the Master: The complete James Allen Treasury by James Allen

There's love in your heart but that love won't produce a return unless it's geared towards the right things. The love of evil is where love goes to die. The love for good is where it multiplies.

I've always said that I approach religion from a philosophical perspective, that I take in what make sense and leave out what doesn't. Things have to make logical sense for me to assimilate them. Love is an emotion and those are, in their very nature, not rooted in logic however James Allen is able to add structure to these illogical human emotions in a way that make sense to me.

Humans are like batteries with limited energy. Emotions are powered by our energy and we only have so much energy to give it as other parts of our bodies also requires it. It make logical sense to try to save that energy for the things that are more likely to give us a return - to our benefit. The benefit here is, of course, our general wellbeing. By loving the good things over the evil things we are optimizing ourselves in the same way as we do when we exercise or read. 

The work required here is to identify the good and evil things in our lives and to give them the proper attention.

Children With Gray Hair

Sometimes when I look around I don't see maturity as much as I see children with gray hair. Whether it be an old couple who hasn't figured out how to get along or a politician's rant... it all screams "I haven't figured out how to approach a situation rationally and can't take responsibility for my actions".

I'm also guilty of this however being able to identify it in others helped me to better understand it in myself. Are others also able to make these connections within themselves? From my inquiries I found that most people, that do have internal lives, talk negatively to themselves.

It's unclear to me if the issue has gotten worse over time or if I just started noticing it more... If someone isn't aware of their own problems then how can we help them?

Self-Awareness A Blessing And a Curse

Self-Awareness is like a hole that you dig in your mind. Some have dug deeper, and are more self-aware, than others. You can be aware of some things while being blind to others. Some people believe themselves to be self-aware when they're not.

To be self-aware is both a blessing and a curse...

There is joy in seeing what others cannot as well as frustration in knowing that there's nothing you can do to make them understand because their minds simply can't comprehend it - the "hole" isn't big enough for the observation to fit into. If you keep pushing, if you keep trying to make them understand, you'll be branded as an odd or arrogant fellow.

The curse is going through life seeing the lies and not being able to tell anyone about it. Those that are aware, of course, can act appropriately. 

Valuable Attention

Our attention is what companies are fighting for. The weird part is that we're not giving it away as much as we're paying to give it up. We buy movies, games, subscriptions... most of which is accessible from our pockets.

The undisciplined mind is at the mercy of this system. Whoever controls our attention controls how we think which is causing problems with such things as politics. The wealthy spend a great deal of effort in acquiring media outlets specifically to sway the consumers to their way of thinking.

We need to take control of our minds through thoughtful entertainment choices, meditation and reading.

Don't Sink The Boat

"Punishments" have no place in relationships. Doing something to the detriment of a partner is like shooting yourself in the foot. If a partnership is like a boat then a punishment is like putting a hole in it while thinking it's going to hurt the other.

Don't sink the boat...

We shouldn't be "getting back" at our partner for hurting us. We need to find it in our heart to forgive and forget or discuss the issue. This is, after all, the person we chose to dedicate our life with.

Little things count...

I went to get ice cream with a friend of mine. I suggested that we also get something for his wife to which he replied "if she wanted something she would of come with us." I ended up buying her ice cream and when I gave it to her I said something like "we thought you would like this" to which my friend replied "this doesn't come from me - its all him".
I found the situation to be so dysfunctional, immature, painful... I could see it in her eyes that she was appreciative of the gesture and my friend total disregard of my attempt to involve him in the good deed made him look like a fool. I'm sure this caused further disagreement between them after we parted ways.

Always be mindful of your partner. Want what's best for them - when they win you win.