Remember Names

Often people will excuse themselves by saying: "I remember faces but not names." The folly of this remark is apparent: If you can remember faces, you can remember names. The trick is to connect the face and name in your mind. Here are some suggestions:

1. Listen intently the first time the name is said. Make sure you have heard it correctly.
2. Repeat the name several times in your mind.
3. Use it as often as possible in immediate and subsequent converstaions.
4. Cement the name together with the face through association. Look for some outstanding feature of the person's face. Then mentally exaggerate that feature or use your imagination to conjure up some indelible image (the more ridiculous, the better).

-Page 80 of "The art of talking so that people will Listen" by author Paul W. Swets

Take control of what you say

The following strategies are designed to help you gain greater control over what you say and how you say it:

• Check to see if the listener understand. Encourage questions. Never stifle the listener with "Stupid!" or the like. Ask, "Am I making myself clear?" "Do you know what I mean?"


• Think before you speak. Avoid hasty generalizations. Ask yourself if there is a clear, reasonable connection between your statements.


• Say precisely what you mean. Don't expect your listener to understand a hidden message. If the hidden message is worth saying, dare to say it clearly.


• Try not to repeat. Condense your message and avoid speaking for more than a minute at a time.


• Ask yourself, "How am I making the other person feel? Would I like to feel that way? How could I have said that better?" Become aware that put down messages are usually damaging not only to communication, but to the other's self-esteem as well.


• Listen to the tone quality and volume of your voice. Is it harsh, too loud, irritating? Modulate your voice so it sounds pleasing to you. Do not speak louder than necessary.


• Consider your body and facial expressions. Check them in a mirror if possible. Ask yourself, "How is what I'm saying coming through? Am I tense? Do I look worried, uncertain, angry?"

-Page 60 of "The art of talking so that people will Listen" by Paul W. Swets foreword by Norman Vincent Peale

Get in the Happiness Habit

Accept responsibility for your happiness and take control of your life. Decide to make happiness a habit.
By Joel Osteen

Many people don't realize that much of the manner in which we approach life-our attitudes and our demeanor-is learned behavior. These habits have been formed by repetition throughout the years. If we've spent years focusing on what's wrong rather than what's right, then these negative patterns are going to keep us from enjoying our lives.
We acquired many of our habits from our parents or the people who were around us as we grew up. Studies tell us that negative parents raise negative children. If your parents focused more on what was wrong, living stressed-out, uptight or discouraged, there's a good possibility that you have developed some of those same negative mindsets.

-Page 79 of "Success Magazine: August 2009 (Energy to the POWER of Monavie Edition)" article written by Joel Osteen.

Know when to keep silent

Silence communicates, but the messages vary. The silence of retreat is the sulking attitude which says, "I don't need to talk to you. I'll just think my own thoughts and isolate myself from you." The silence of anger is the attempt to get even, to lash out by keeping thoughts within, to refuse to give one the pleasure of company. Then there is the silence of awkwardness which almost shouts, "Help! Let me out of here! I don't know what to say! Somebody say something!" There is also the silence of support. Instead of filling up time with small talk, that silence says: "I want to know how you feel about yourself, your failures, your accomplishments, your future plans." What a great experience to be on the other end of that kind of silence!

-Page 50 of "The art of talking so that people will Listen" by Paul W. Swets foreword by Norman Vincent Peale

Unhook Yourself from the Matrix

Posted by: Darren Hardy in: SUCCESS

Do you ever get…?

• Joint pain


• Stiff back


• Dry eyes


• Runny nose


• Restless legs


• Tired in the afternoon


• Angry while sitting in traffic


• A craving for chocolate


• Unruly hair

If you experience any of these symptoms, consult your doctor. You may be suffering from—BEING HUMAN!

Last night I walked into the kitchen where my wife was preparing dinner and the TV was on in the background with one of those pharmaceutical companies pitching a newly invented drug to cure a newly invented disease. I was so appalled I looked them up—they have already sold BILLIONS of dollars of their “enlightenment in a bottle.”
I think it is time for us all to wake up and cut the strings to the puppet master that is commercialism.

Quick lesson in commercial marketing:

Step 1: Make people feel inadequate, inferior, ugly, stupid or weak.

Step 2: Reinforce this by pointing out what they lack (something you didn’t even know you lacked until they pointed it out).

Step 3: Then show an artificial contrast—the handsome guy with three makeup artists and painted-on six-pack abs or the airbrushed professional bulimic, I mean model.

Now here is the most delusional and damaging part:
Step 4: They get you to believe that your success will come from their magic potion, new golf club, fully loaded sports car or eye cream; then there is always that “little blue pill” for guys, or my favorite—the new KY Jelly Intense for girls (see ad below).

I’d love it if I could buy my success, fame, self-esteem, good relationships, health and well-being in a nicely clam-shelled package at the local Wal-Mart. But, that’s not how it works.

There is no quick fix, way to lose 30 pounds in 3 days, rub 10 years off your face, make money while you sleep, or too good and still true get-rich-quick schemes.

Stop buying into it; better yet, stop even listening. When you pull back the curtain to the wizardry of commercial Oz, there is just a greasy, overweight, (probably way too hairy) bearded bald guy in a way-too-small leisure suit giggling with delight as he rings the bell and the rest of respond by salivating.

Rouse yourself from your hypnotic stupor and unhook yourself from the mind-melding Matrix. Realize your only path to success is through a continuum of mundane, unsexy, unexciting and sometimes difficult daily disciplines compounded over time, leading to the results, life, and lifestyle of your dreams and desires. But that doesn’t make for alluring book titles, spellbinding infomercials, or direct mail with high response rates.

Source: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2009/07/matrix/#more-1051