Wednesday, July 3, 2024

The Purpose of Relationship Books

I recently had a chat with someone who had read relationship books, such as the "5 love languages" by Gary Chapman, and was using what she had learned to distance herself from other potential mates. In her mind, if the man didn't share the same love language it meant that the relationship wouldn't work out.

This isn't the purpose of relationship books...

Gary Chapman didn't write a book on love languages for you to weed out those that doesn't share the same love languages as you. He wrote the book in order for you to be aware of the differences in love languages and the importance of learning to speak each other's love language.

On paper, it's true that relationship with someone that has the same love language as you should be easier... but also limiting you to a smaller pool of potential partners. Other characteristics needs to be considered. If someone is abusive, but speak the same love language as you, it doesn't mean that you should be in a relationship with that person.

Relationship books exist to help people have more meaningful connections with each other.

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