Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Hi, how are you?

For most people, that’s as far as discussion gets. It become such an habit to answer that, when you say something drastically different, people are stunt. I often greet people by saying “Bonjour” (In French, means “Hello”) to my co-workers (who are English) and they answer “Good and you?”.

I don’t know what your purpose in life is, but I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not to do small talk until you die. Life is not design to have habits in every area, especially not when it comes to human interactions.

Is life so uncomfortable that we only have deep discussions with a chosen few? There’s no better way to grow than associate with people and it takes more, to associate, than a “Hi”.

Small talk is not the problem, the problem is that it doesn’t go beyond that point. Greeting people, with small talk, is the easiest way to break the ice; it makes both party comfortable because it’s common ground. Both know what the next question or answer will be. It’s like they’re syncing.

After the small talk is over, it’s time to associate by finding something that you have in common. To do so, you have to ask questions about them.
If he gives short answers; chances are that he doesn’t want to talk to you.

Bellow are 4 things that I find important in a discussion:

  1. Smile: A smile says “I’m glad to be with you”.
  2. Listen: It’s very important to listen to the answers so that you can go more in depth in the discussion.
  3. Avoid gossip: When in a discussion, if you say something bad about someone else behind their back, the person you talk to will wonder what bad things you say about them when they’re not there.
  4. Stay positive: You always want to leave someone on a positive note so that he is more likely to remember you from a positive note.

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