Not The Relationship I Want

For every successful marriage I've seen, I found 9 that were unsuccessful. While they may not of given up on the vow, they've given up on trying to find happiness within it. Instead of spending time growing closer together they looked for flaws in each other with the aim to change them which created, over time, resentment rather than love.

"Human nature dictates that angriness, boredom and/or irritation will end any relationship given enough time."
-unknown

These bad relationships, filled with daily torture sessions, brings out the worse version of those involved. How can you possibly find happiness when there's frequent negativity in the home?

"Success in marriage is more than finding the right person; it is being the right person."

-Robert Browning

Choosing who to marry is the most important decision in life but we have to keep in mind that the only person we have control over is ourselves. Many will say that relationships have to be 50/50 but why not give it your 100%? It's not about what your partner can do for you but what you can do for them. Some days, you may not be able to give more than 20% but maybe they'll be able to compensate by giving 60%. The point here is, of course, not to do things solely to get even; Do what is necessary regardless of "who's turn" it is.

"If you are not honest with yourself, you will not be capable of honesty with others. Self-deception is the enemy of relationships. It also undermines personal growth. If a person does not admit his shortcomings, he cannot improve." 

-John C. Maxwell

The below are book recommendation for those wanting to be better partners to their spouse.

• "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
• "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer
• "His needs her needs" by Willard F. Harley
• "The 5 Language of Apology" by Gary Chapman

"Unspoken assumptions and unexpressed expectations are common relationship “deal-breakers. But when you are willing to learn to express yourself by clarifying assumptions and expectations you will find more happiness and less stress in your relationships."

-Sarah Zink