Wednesday, December 26, 2018

"We need to talk"

If you’ve been in a relationship, then you likely heard the phrase “We need to talk” or “I need to figure things out”... this is a very bad sign. Usually, a “decision” has been made and that decision will be shared whether you like it or not. It’s definitely not a good moment to go through but we all have to go through those every now and then.

Things to remember:
  • This is serious. Remain calm and remember that your partner likely spent a lot of time thinking through everything. This is a serious discussion. This is not the time to be a smart ass and make jokes.
  • Listen attentively with a spirit of understanding. This isn’t the time to criticize, condemn or play the blame game. There’s an issue at hand and you need to know what your role was in all this.
  • Be at peace with the fact that this may be the end of the relationship. Hearing this type of news is obviously going to shake you to your core (if it doesn’t then maybe that’s why it ended?). Remember that the stress generated from the news will make you act rashly. What you say, or do, in the moment may sound right but you will likely end up regretting it later.
  • Ask for a timeout from the conversation. Take your things and go for a car ride, clear your head and choose your next words carefully.
  • Do what it takes to make the relationship works but remember that, if it was to end, you will survive.
Now here’s the thing, I know all of the above but in the spur of the moment it rarely goes like that and there are always things that I have said that I ended up regretting. We can still try to apply these things but we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves if we fail at them… maybe let’s pay better attention during our relationship so that we do not come to these situations?

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