Your Wife Will Feel Esteemed When...

• you say, "I'm so proud of the way you handled that."


• you speak highly of her in front of others.


• you open the door for her.


• you try something new with her.


• you give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasm.


• you notice something different about her hair or clothes.


• you are physically affectionate with her in public.


• you teach the children to show her and others respect.


• you value her opinion in the gray areas as not wrong but just different--and valid.


• you choose family outings over "guy things."


• you make her feel first in importance.


• you are proud of her and all she does.

-Page 182 of "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

She'll Feel At Peace with You When...

• you let her vent her frustrations and hurts and don't get angry and close her off.


• you admit you are wrong and apologize by saying. "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"


• you understand her natural desire to negotiate, compromise, and defer, and you meet her halfway.


• you try to keep your relationship "up-to-date," resolving the unresolved and never saying, "Forget it."


• you forgive her for any wrongs she confesses.


• you never nurse bitterness and always reassure her of your love.


• you pray with her after a hurtful time.

-Page 164 of "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

She'll Feel You're Trying to Understand Her When...

• you listen and can repeat back what she said.


• you don't try to "fix her problems" unless she specifically asks for a solution.


• you try to identify her feelings.


• you never dismiss her feelings, no matter how illogical they may seem to you.


• you say, "I appreciate your sharing that with me."


• you don't interrupt her whe she's trying to tell you how she feels.


• you apologize and admit you were wrong.


• you cut her some slack during her monthly cycle.


• you see something that needs to be done and you do it without a lot of hassle.


• you express appreciation for all she does: "Honey, I could never do your job."


• you pray with her and for her.

-Page 154 of "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Your Wife Feels you Are Open To Her When ...

• you share your feelings, telling about your day and difficulties.


• you say, "Let's talk," ask her what she's feeling, and ask for her opinions.


• your face shows you want to talk-relaxed body language, good eye contact.


• you take her for a walk to talk and reminisce about how you met or perhaps you talk about the kids and problems she may be having with them.


• you pray with her.


• you give her your full attention... no grunting responses while trying to watch TV, read the newspaper, or write e-mails.


• you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes, or ideas for your future.

-Page 144 of "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Your Wife Feels Close to You When...

• you hold her hand.


• you hug her.


• you are affectionate without sexual intentions.


• you are with her alone so you can focus on each other and laugh together.


• you go fo a walk or jog... anything that results in togetherness.


• you seek her out ... set up a date night ... eat by candlelight.


• you go out of your way to do something for her, like run an errand.


• you make it a priority to spend time with her.


• you are aware of her as a person with a mind and opinions... let her know you enjoy discussing things with her and getting her insights.


• you suggest the unexpected... get takeout and eat on the beach... take a walk to see the full moon... park on the bluff and watch the sunset.


• you pillow talk after making love... lie close with your arm around her and share feelings and intimate ideas... and never turn on SportsCenter or Nightline.

-Page 133 of "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs